Joy, How to Maintain This “Best Makeup”
In preparing my talk to religious in New Orleans, I came across Anne Lamott’s words: “Joy is the best makeup.” This is true because a person who is full of joy has a radiant face. Peace and happiness shine forth from it. Eyes sparkle, cheeks are rosy, lips curve in a pleasant smile.
My talk was geared to consecrated people: sisters, brothers, priests, and a hermit. However, huge portions of it also apply to anyone. So, in this blog, I will share them with you.
What Is Joy?
Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, listed in Scripture right after love. Blessed Columba Marmion said, “Joy is the echo of God’s life in us.” Teilhard de Chardin echoed this: “Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God.” Ayn Rand noted, “Joy is one’s fuel.” It empowers us to keep on keeping on.
Joy and happiness are similar, but joy is bigger and more precious than happiness. It is serenity and deep well-being. It is constant and intense. Happiness is usually triggered by something external and is temporary. The joy Jesus speaks of and brings about is a deep, abiding bliss. It the joy no one or nothing can take from us. Those who have a reservoir of joy can be at peace although our world, country, and church are fractured and violence and injustice abound.
In the Book of Joy, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama converse about joy. Tutu says when we possess joy, we have hardship without becoming hard. We have heartbreak without being broken.
Why We Can Be Joyful
Marcus Aurelius said, “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” We can marvel at the wonders of the universe like a solar eclipse or a perfect red rose. We can delight in friends—those people who know all about us but like us anyway. We can run marathons, read books, listen to Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata,” dance, feast on juicy hamburgers, strawberry sundaes, liver and onions.
Out of a zillion possibilities, God decided to make you. Our creator who said, “Let there be light, etc., at one point in time said, “Let there be Judy…or Margaret or John.”
Look at your palm. You are unique. No one has fingerprints like yours or like the DNA inside your cells. Ever since Adam and Eve, down through centuries thousands of couples, your ancestors, have united in love and passed on their genes. And one year as the beautiful Psalm 139 says, God knit you together in your mother’s womb. (In some of us, he must have dropped a stitch or two!)
St. John Paul II said, “God made us for joy., . . the joy of living reflects the original joy that God felt in creating us.” That may be a new thought for you: that God took pleasure in creating you. He enjoyed giving you the world and the promise of heaven.
And God has not deserted you. Joy is the assurance that God is in control of all the details of your life. Joy is the confidence that ultimately everything is going to be all right.
Not only do you have life on earth. You can be glad because Jesus died and rose to save you, and so you can look forward to life in heaven. In 1 Peter 1:8 we read, “You believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable joy, for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
When someone loves us, our hearts burst with joy. Well, God loves you as tenderly as a father loves his children, as a bridegroom loves his bride. He became a human and died for you, even stays with you in the Blessed Sacrament and lets you consume him in the Eucharist.
Ways to Feed Your Joy
True, during our first earthly moments we cry. But then nothing is more delightful than the gurgling laughter of a baby. How do we keep joy and peace constantly flowing like an underground spring within us?
Spend alone time before the Blessed Sacrament. Jesus is God. Face to face with him hidden in the Sacred Host, we are with God, hopefully as we will be in eternity. In Psalm 16:11 we pray, “In your presence there is fullness of joy.”
During the day be alert to God winks, also called lovebursts. You find a parking spot, a book falls open to the information you are seeking. You meet someone “by chance.” When I was looking for the Book of Joy in our library, instead of using the computer I walked the aisles. There the book was…sticking out from the others on a shelf. You might record such happenings and review them occasionally, like reading old love letters.
Have faith in God’s design. Confidence in the goodness of God is the key to happiness. No matter what happens, trust that it is for your good or the good of others.
Choose to be joyful. Joseph Campbell said, “We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.” Actress Rose Byrne suggested, “At least twice a week, focus on seeing yourself in joy. Feel yourself in joy. Imagine joy ahead in your life and see yourself basking in it.” And Norman Vincent Peale said, “Think joy, talk joy, practice joy, share joy, saturate your mind with joy and you will have the time of your life today and every day all your life.”
Don’t compare yourself to others. President Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” So-and-so is more popular. So-and-so is a better singer or writer. So-and-so is more handsome or more attractive. So what? Cherish your own gifts.
Also resist comparing yourself to yourself. Say last year you took first prize at the fair, but this year you had honorable mention. When you were thirty you wore size 8; now you wear size 18. Accept what is and be grateful.
Do something for others. Psychiatrist Dr. Karl Menninger was asked, “What would you advise a person to do if he felt a nervous breakdown coming?” He recommended, “Lock up your house, go across the railway tracks, find someone in need and do something for them.” Self-centered people are unhappy people. J.R. Miller said, “Nothing else in all life is such a maker of joy and cheer as the privilege of doing good.”
Find humor in situations. The first time I read at Mass in our large province chapel, my hearing aid fell out. This could have been embarrassing, but afterwards the priest said, “Good catch,” and Sisters said, “I thought you were swatting a fly.”
Associate with people who lift your spirits. Not the grumpy ones who view the world through black colored glasses…unless you want to do penance.
Look at humorous things. Watch a funny movie or silly sitcom on TV. Read cartoons like these:
Act as if. That is a basic spiritual principle. A modern translation is “Fake it till you make it.” Thich Nhat Hanh observed, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” Act as if you’re on top of the world. Miraculously, suddenly you realize that you are. Try it.
When a bad thing happens, look for the silver lining. When I was the head of the English department at Regina High School and registered to get a Master’s in English at Bowling Green, I was sent to get a Master’s in math at the University of Minnesota. I hadn’t finished taking undergraduate math courses in college. So in the pure number theory class, I was lost. Our grade depended on one test. Out of 90 points, the instructor gave me 5— probably because I wrote my name on the blue booklet. But the positive effect of this humiliating experience was that I could empathize with my students who struggled in school. (I switched to English instead.) Besides, at that university I saw Roger Williams, Mitch Miller, ballets, plays for free and enjoyed as much soft serve ice cream as I wanted in the cafeteria. I also flew in a plane for the first time.
Next week I will share ideas for how to give joy to others.
My presentation ended with this camp song, for which all enthusiastically joined in:
• When are you most joyful?
• Who are joyful people you know?
Weekend in New Orleans for Talk on Joy
Brother Ronald Travers, S.C., the new vicar for religious in New Orleans, invited me to speak to the religious of the archdiocese on living the joy of consecrated life. It was a wonderful experience, mostly because I stayed with three of our Notre Dame Sisters there. They volunteered to minister in New Orleans after Katrina. Sister Margaret teaches second graders, Sister Bonita runs a GED program, and Sister Mary Ellen tutors children. They drove me from and to the airport.
To my delight, Sister Margaret presented me with letters her children wrote me. They had read my book A Child’s Bible and thanked me for writing it. One offered to be my artist. Here are some quotations from their letters:
“Your book is the best book in the world.”
“Have a blessed day wherever you are.”
“It must took you hours to do.”
“Your book is umazxing.”
“I love your book but why didn’t you put the prodcle son in their.”
“I hope you keep making awesome books for kids.”
What We Did
My visit was a learning experience. On Friday evening, we had a picnic in the park alongside Lake Pontchartrain. This is the huge lake that flooded New Orleans. Its waters came up to the convent. Now it is peaceful, and a walkway along the lake is perfect for hikers and young couples. After our meal, we separated to spend time alone in prayer at the lakeside. I learned to avoid walking on red ant hills. Treading on them would quickly bring out hundreds of poisonous ants.
I learned that cypress trees have knees.
A sign on the street read “NO Art Museum.” I thought How odd! Then was informed that NO stood for New Orleans.
On Saturday the Sisters accompanied me to the Newman Center for the talk. They agreed to help me sing “Joy, Joy, Joy,” but it turned out that the audience immediately joined in with enthusiasm. Afterwards we went to Mass at the Center and then to a restaurant, where I feasted on New Orleans fresh catfish and jambalaya.
Sister Mary Ellen prepared quiche for our Sunday brunch and gave me the recipe. That evening Brother Ron was coming to dinner, so everyone pitched in to prepare the meal. My job was to peel and cut the apples into thin slices for Sister Mary Ellen’s apple pie, which I managed to do without cutting myself!
In the afternoon Sister Margaret took me to City Park, which she absolutely loves. I envisioned simply grass, trees, and benches, but was blown away by this attraction.
City Park
The park is 1,300 acres, about twice the size of New York’s Central Park. It has the most live oak trees, some older than 600 years, flowers galore, a host of sports venues, a Museum of Art, Café du Monde, an amusement park with a carousel and Ferris wheel, a mini train, boats and kayaks, a sculpture garden, a botanical garden, and a Storybook section with huge figures from nursery rhymes and fairy tales.
A prime feature is the huge lawn where people picnic while listening to the Louisiana Philharmonic Orchestra. This is comparable to our Blossom Music Center in Ohio. You can see it in the first photo above.
Some photos I took:
You can learn more about this park at https://neworleanscitypark.org/
Here is a video about it too:
Sister Margaret could be hired as a tour guide for City Park. I felt like we covered most of the 1,300 acres that afternoon, me keeping up with her fast pace. Wish I had worn my Fitbit to see how many steps I took.
Sadly, the park was 95% flooded by Katrina, but it is fully restored now. Some 2,000 trees were lost, but about 6,000 new ones were planted.
Katrina also left its mark on the streets, which are pockmarked with potholes. The Sisters need to weave around them as they drive. The school building on the convent lot is a shambles with broken and missing windows.
The Communities
I was introduced to various religious communities. Two Sisters from an African community wore striking, patterned blue and white habits. Two brothers and a Jesuit priest were in the audience. I felt honored when one Sister confided to me the secret name God has for her. She said she never told anyone else.
At the supper with Brother Ron, we had fun comparing customs that our respective communities used to have. For example, where we Notre Dames couldn’t drive at all, his community had a few designated drivers.
On Monday morning before leaving for the airport, we attended Mass at the convent of the Servants of Mary. Eight Sisters there have a unique ministry. They are taken to homes where family members are caretakers, and they spend the night to give the families a break. Then the Sisters return to the convent and sleep during the day.
The Diocese
Like many dioceses in the United States, New Orleans is facing the painful challenge of merging parishes. You might pray for them.
Previously I visited New Orleans when I spoke at an NCEA convention there. At that time I saw other features of this Big Easy or Crescent City, like the French Quarter.
Nice Things That Happened
Sometimes you have to rely on the kindness of strangers and God winks.
When my boarding pass on my cellphone was hidden, the man behind me brought it back.
I take books to sell rather than a lot of clothes. As I struggled unsuccessfully to lift my carry-on into the upper bin, the young Hispanic man behind me helped.
During the five-hour layover in Charlotte, a heavyset, bearded young man seated at the end of the row opposite me sang! (I crocheted a baby blanket and worked crossword puzzles.)
The woman next to me fixed my phone when it went dark.
A woman on the other side thanked me for talking to her because she was nervous. She intends to go to my talk next month at St. John of the Cross and marked it on her calendar.
On the next leg of the journey I was so nervous that I couldn’t buckle my seat belt. Boarding, I had been in group nine and seated in the last row (#36). Besides, they had taken away my carry-on, and I had to rescue my talk and handouts. Now I have flown dozens of times, but I said to the tall, thin, Black flight attendant, “I think my seat belt buckle is broken.” He said, “Put it into the other side,” and voila, no problem. Then because of mechanical problems, we had to file out and board another plane they found. As I passed the same flight attendant on the new plane, he gave me a big smile and I said, “Don’t worry. I know how to do it now.”
Coming home, a little boy was in my aisle seat. His mom said the father, who was supposed to sit with his son, couldn’t make the flight. She asked me to trade places and sit in the dad’s window seat farther up. From there because the plane flew low, I was treated to views of the earth below, including a great sight of Cleveland and the Terminal Tower.
Originally Sister Melannie was invited to give this talk, but she had a retreat to give and suggested I do it. So when someone asked Brother Ron how he got me for the day, I said, “By mistake.”
And then there was Sister Kathy who got up early to take me to the airport and later picked me up after I texted her I’d be at arrivals when we had said departures.
As a youth, this was one of my favorite songs:
Next week I plan to share some of the highlights of my presentation to the religious. Stay tuned!
• If you’ve been to New Orleans, what did you enjoy most? Or what would you like to visit there?
• What is your favorite city? Why?
From Death to Heaven: Preparing Now
Looking down from my balcony, I saw this lovely tree in full bloom. Quite an Easter-y sight! A few days later 60-mile-per-hour wind gusts stripped the tree and carpeted my balcony with its white petals. The shadow on the left side of the photo was like an omen of what would befall the tree. And me.
As I grow older, I appreciate each day and each experience more. I realize that my time on earth is running out like the sand trickling out of an hourglass. How will I spend what’s left of my life? For one thing, I definitely must declutter, especially my clothes closet.
This month Michael Amodei from Ave Maria Press shared with us at Notre Dame Village his thoughts on making the most of our senior “golden” years. He wrote a book about it: Reaching for Heaven: 14 Spiritual Goals as You Grow Older. His advice is worth repeating here. His theme is preparing for Judgment Day, something we don’t usually think about. But for a full explanation of the goals and for the interesting, frank, personal examples that punctuate the text, you might purchase his book from Amazon.
Here are a few suggestions in the book:
Pray regularly and attend daily Mass. This guarantees that when you meet Jesus, he won’t ask, “Who are you?”
Read and study Scripture. Maybe join a Bible study group. This bestseller is how God communicates with us personally.
Make a pilgrimage. I’d love to walk the Camino de Santiago, the Way of St. James, in Europe. Have you seen the film The Way with Martin Sheen?
Support the poor. Do you remember the spiritual and corporal works of mercy? You can carry them out alone or with an organization, which would be more fun.
Exercise. Don’t be a couch potato. Take elderly champions as your models and inspiration. Florence Chadwick swam across the English Channel at the age of 66. Mike Fremont holds world records for marathons at age 80 and age 90!
Find work after retirement. As Jude Mead, C.P., our retreat director, would say, “I want to die with my boots on.” Your new career might be a hobby or a way of bringing joy to other people.
Cultivate friendships. Today a friend I’ve known since kindergarten is coming to visit. After years of separation, we met by “chance” at the top of the Washington Monument in 1984 and have tried to have lunch together once a year ever since. Facebook is a means to reconnect with old friends and relatives.
When and how our life will end are mysteries. But it surely will. You know your final hour is drawing near when friends, relatives, and other people your age have passed on; when doctors, police officers, and firemen look like teenagers to you; when to find the year of your birth you must scroll far down the list; and when you awake and wonder What body part is not going to work today? As my mom liked to say, “Old age isn’t for sissies.”
It helps to have a sense of humor as we cope with growing older. Here are a few age-related cartoons.
Heaven is worth striving for, as these words of Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen illustrates:
“Have you ever noticed that your happiest moments have come when eternity almost seemed to get inside your soul? When you are not conscious of time at all. This is a hint of what heaven must be. It must be outside of time, where you can possess all joys at one and the same full moment.”
• In the Appendix of Amodei’s book, he offers ten more ways to live a good life. What would you add?
• What older person is your inspiration? A grandparent? A friend? Why
Now’s the time to take advantage of being alive on our amazing planet:
An Explosion of Celebrations
Monday, April 8, was a day to remember. It was jam-packed with celebrations. First of all, living in Cleveland, I was treated to the splendor of a solar eclipse. Moon pies and blackout forest cake were served for dessert the night before. People dressed in yellow and black. I played songs like “Moon River” and “You Are My Sunshine” on the piano.
After the eclipse, I watched the Guardians home opener game, in which they eclipsed the Chicago White Sox 4-0.
Liturgically, Monday was a fantastic day too. The Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord was transferred to this day from March 25, which landed in Holy Week this year, which is centered on the Passion. Strangely, this year on the day we see the moon overshadow the sun, we celebrate the Holy Spirit overshadowing Mary. Someone suggested making the celebration of the Incarnation a holy day of obligation. I agree. No incarnation, no resurrection for Jesus and us! The Annunciation also happens to be the patronal feast of us Sisters of Notre Dame. This is appropriate because we have a special devotion to Our Lady. We even adopt Mary or some form of it in our name.
In addition, it was the feastday of St. Julie Billiart, our spiritual mother because she died on April 8. At our noon meal in the Province Center, we had a contest to see which table could complete the words of Marian hymns first. The prizes were plastic eggs filled with candy or coins. We Sisters do have fun! By the way, St. Julie is known as the smiling saint, as in the painting of her here. Notice the medal she wears. It’s of Our Lady of Guadalupe.
The Solar Eclipse
That solar eclipse was spectacular. As one eleven-year-old boy said, “I would give a million dollars to see it again.” Gathered around our Village flagpole, through our special glasses we watched and waited in awe as the moon ever so slowly moved across the sun. Finally, when the orange sliver disappeared and we removed the special glasses, we saw the black orb with white rays shooting forth all around it. Nearby, Venus and Jupiter shone for us.
We were specially privileged in that the cloudy skies predicted for our region dissipated before the eclipse I wonder how many people had prayed for clear blue skies like I did.
Witnessing this phenomenon, people had to realize that some divine power orchestrated the cosmos. The grandeur of space displayed this day makes us feel small but also grateful to be alive. A by-product of the event was that so many people were unified in focusing on it—thousands congregated shoulder to shoulder or chair to chair, staring at the sky. It reminded us that divisions are man made. In essence we are one human race. We have the same emotions and can thrill to the same marvels of Earth.
A Relevant Homily
Fr. Dan Schlegel’s homily that morning, the second Sunday of Easter, was pertinent. He reminded us that when Jesus died, there was a solar eclipse: darkness over all the earth. He pointed out that more amazing than a solar eclipse was Jesus’s resurrection. Jesus, the Son of God, comes in brilliant light. He, the light of the world, overcomes darkness.
Not everyone understood his light at first—like Mary Magdalene, who assumed he was the gardener, and the puzzled apostles, who can’t interpret the empty tomb. St. Paul was blinded by the light of Christ. It sometimes takes a while to realize who Jesus is. Father concluded, that as we gaze at the eclipse of the sun, “Don’t forget to gaze into the other Son’s light too—because that Son has the power to dazzle you, to inspire you, and to change your life forever.”
Coincidentally, the day’s morning prayer included a canticle in which we prayed, “Sun and moon, bless the Lord. Stars of heaven, bless the Lord.”
One of my favorite songs is “Brother Sun, Sister Moon,” from the movie of the same title. Naturally it is about St. Francis. Here is a version of the song:
• What is your favorite way to celebrate?
• When have you been bowled over by a nature scene?
2024: Year of Prayer before Jubilee Year
Did you know that Pope Francis declared this the Year of Prayer? It is a prelude to next year’s Jubilee Year of Hope. At the Chrism Mass in St. Peter’s Basilica on March 28, he stressed the importance of rediscovering our need “to cultivate prayer that is not obligatory and functional, but freely chosen, tranquil and prolonged.” He said, “Let us return to adoration and the prayer of the heart.”
We certainly need prayer nowadays when our country, Church, and the whole world is in turmoil.
During Lent we were to practice prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. I adopted two prayer practices. It takes a long walk through long halls to get from my apartment to the Province Center where our chapel, the main dining room, the library, and my office are located. I decided to pray as I walked. Sure, I greeted people and added steps on my Fitbit along the way. But most of those minutes spent walking were “dead time,” which I could put to use by connecting with Jesus.
My other prayer resolution was to pay attention to the words when I prayed at Mass or prayed the Divine Office. Much of the time trying to have my brain stick to the meaning of the words was akin to the expression trying to nail jello to the wall.
Now that Lent is over, I intend to carry on these two practices. If you prayed more during Lent, you might keep up whatever you did too.
Prayer for Intentions
Many of our prayers are devoted to asking for something. Last night on Call the Midwife Fred was at death’s door. The oldest Sister spent hours in chapel even without eating praying for him. She persuaded the other Sisters and nurses in the house to join her in prayer. Miraculously Fred survived to appear in more episodes.
A friend of our community was hospitalized with a mysterious infection. She too was on the brink of death and not expected to recover. We were asked to pray for her, and now she is now out of the hospital and in rehab.
Of course, God doesn’t always see fit to give us what we think is good. He may say “No,” “Wait a while,” “I have a better idea,” or (as Jimmy Carter said), “You’ve got to be kidding.”
We resort to prayers of petition when we are in dire straits, and they are pleasing to God, for they demonstrate faith in him. But they don’t compare to “prayer of the heart.”
Kinds of Prayer for 2024
The Pope is asking for more time spent in prayer and prayer over and above normal prayer. He means time quietly adoring God, loving him, and thanking him. It reminds me of St. Rose Philippine Duchesne whose dream of working with Native Americans was at last fulfilled‑‑but when she too old to do much and unable to master their language. In Kansas she spent hours before the Blessed Sacrament, so much so that the Potawatomi called her “Woman Who Prays Always.” It’s said that one boy spread kernels of corn on the skirt of her habit as she prayed to test whether she moved. When he returned, the kernels were still in place.
A more modern example of super prayer: One of our Sisters always seems to have a rosary in her hand as I meet her. She said that she aims to pray four Rosaries (all the mysteries) every day. (Our Holy Rule obliges us to pray just one Rosary.)
What can you do to reinvigorate your prayer life this year? You might spend time before the Blessed Sacrament. St. Teresa of Calcutta said, “The time you spend with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is the best time that you will spend on earth.”
Rise earlier in the morning to pray quietly.
Think of God as you are vacuuming, jogging, or preparing a meal.
In the evening, don’t just make an examination of conscience, but review the day and pinpoint “Godwinks.” Then thank God for them.
The end all and be all of prayer is not to have our wishes granted but to develop a close relationship with the God who loves us and showers us with gifts like our world and its marvels, our bodies with its senses, and the hope of living forever because of the gift of the incarnation.
Speaking of marvels, on April 8 many of us will enjoy a solar eclipse: a glorious phenomenon. Sights in creation like that touch our hearts, even make us gasp, and prompt us to reflect on our imaginative and powerful Creator.
Three Books on Prayer
I’ve written the following three books with the goal of assisting people to pray better. They are available on Amazon and from me (preferably).
• Prayer-Moments for Every Day of the Year. This is a collection of one-line prayers that can be repeated over and over as mantras. Sometimes when you are tired, worried, or in pain, you can’t pray any other way. A mantra makes you realize God’s loving presence.
- Praying on Empty. Sometimes as we pray we no longer feel God is there, or we fight distractions. This book offers explanations and remedies. It includes suggestions for renewing your prayer life.
- A Catholic’s Companion to the Psalms. We pray and sing psalms at Mass. They are prayers God gave us in the Bible. This book explains the psalms and different ways we can pray them.
This video plays “How Great Thou Art” as an instrumental with lyrics against the sky:
• Have you adopted a different way of praying recently? Is so, what?
• Does a way of praying mentioned in this post appeal to you?
