Balancing Work, Caregiving, and Your Life: A Guide for Caregivers
A Guide for Caregiving
Harry Cline came to my rescue and provided this helpful blog on caregiving for me to use while I am away visiting my sister. As a caregiver for my mom for several years, I see the value of the following advice:
Caring for Yourself
Caring for an aging loved one while managing a career and personal responsibilities can feel overwhelming. The constant juggling act between professional duties, caregiving tasks, and self-care often leads to burnout if not managed properly. However, with the right strategies in place, you can maintain a sense of balance and prevent exhaustion. By implementing effective planning and support systems, you can fulfill your responsibilities without neglecting your own needs.
Establish a Realistic Schedule
A structured routine can help you manage the daily demands of caregiving without feeling scattered. Start by mapping out essential tasks, including work commitments, caregiving duties, and personal time. Use a planner or digital calendar to visualize your week and identify where you may need adjustments. Be realistic about what you can accomplish and avoid overloading your schedule. Allocating time intentionally ensures that every aspect of your life receives the attention it deserves.
Leverage Support Systems
No one should have to shoulder the burden of caregiving alone, and seeking help can make a significant difference. Reach out to family members, friends, or community organizations that offer respite care or assistance. Consider hiring professional caregivers for specific tasks to lighten your load. Support groups, both online and in-person, provide emotional encouragement and valuable resources. The more you involve others, the more manageable your responsibilities will feel.
Communicate Openly with Your Employer
Balancing work and caregiving is easier when your employer understands your situation. If possible, discuss flexible work arrangements such as remote work, adjusted hours, or taking advantage of family leave policies. Be proactive about managing deadlines and seeking solutions that align with both your job and caregiving duties. Keeping an open line of communication helps create a supportive work environment that accommodates your needs.
Boost Career Prospects with Online Education
Advancing your career while managing caregiving responsibilities can feel overwhelming, but earning an online degree offers the flexibility needed to succeed. With the ability to complete coursework on your schedule, you can continue providing care for your loved one without putting your education on hold. Notably, by earning an MSN degree for healthcare innovation, you open doors to career paths in nurse education, informatics, nurse administration, or advanced practice nursing options.
Prioritize Your Own Well-Being
Self-care is often the first thing to be neglected when juggling multiple responsibilities, but it’s essential for long-term sustainability. Schedule regular breaks, even if they are short, to recharge mentally and physically. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading, exercising, or spending time with friends. Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity that enables you to be a better caregiver.
Make Use of Technology
Technology can help streamline both work and caregiving tasks, reducing stress and improving efficiency. Use reminder apps to keep track of medication schedules, doctor’s appointments, and daily tasks. Grocery and meal delivery services can save time on errands. Virtual doctor visits and telehealth options make medical care more accessible without requiring extra travel. Embracing digital tools allows you to manage responsibilities more effectively.
Set Healthy Boundaries
One of the biggest challenges for caregivers is learning to say “no” when necessary. Overcommitting can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and decreased effectiveness in all areas of life. Be clear about your limits and communicate them to both your family and workplace. If a request exceeds what you can realistically handle, explore alternatives rather than pushing yourself beyond capacity. Respecting your own boundaries ensures you can continue caregiving without sacrificing your well-being.
Find Moments of Joy and Gratitude
Despite the challenges, caregiving offers opportunities for meaningful connections and moments of joy. Take time to appreciate the small wins and the time you spend with your loved one. Reflecting on positive aspects of caregiving can shift your mindset and prevent burnout. Expressing gratitude, whether through journaling or simple reflection, can bring a sense of fulfillment even on tough days.
Caring for a senior while managing other aspects of life requires a thoughtful approach and practical strategies. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and utilizing available resources, you can create a more balanced and sustainable caregiving experience. The key is to acknowledge your limits and take proactive steps to support your own well-being while continuing to provide the care your loved one needs.
Discover the inspiring works of Sister Kathleen Glavich and explore a treasure trove of Catholic wisdom and spirituality.
• Have you ever been a caregiver? If so, how did you manage to stay healthy yourself?
• Have you benefited from a caregiver? What especially did you like about her or him?
How to Stop Worrying
Not to Worry: A Helpful Site
Last week my blog was about worry. Since then I discovered on Facebook a site by therapist Dr. Sarah Allen that gives excellent advice for banishing worry. I’m taking advantage of her post this week. It was a godsend to me, for I’m flying to Florida Thursday to visit my sister. So I’m busy packing and finding summer clothes that still fit!
Here is the link to Dr. Allen’s post about ways not to worry:
https://drsarahallen.com/10-hacks-to-reduce-anxiety-and-worrying/
“Don’t Worry, Be Happy” Official Video
• What makes you happy?
Worry Is Useless. Trust God.
My History of Worrying
Worry is useless, but I’m an inveterate worrier. One of my earliest memories is my first-grade teacher calling me a worrywart. Since to me that was like warthog, I thought it was a horrible name. Probably worrying turned me into a nail biter. My mom did her best to cure me, even telling me if I swallowed a fingernail it would turn into a worm in my stomach! I quit the habit, but worry can still make me waste hours at night tossing and turning.
Ill Effects of Worrying
Worry has some negative consequences. It harms our physical and mental health. It causes depression, fatigue, digestive issues, headaches, and muscle tension. Stress hormones affect the heart, blood vessels, and other systems. Worry causes problems with appetite, sleep, relationships and job performance. Extreme anxiety may lead to overeating, weight gain, problems with memory and concentration, smoking, or alcohol and drug use. It can cause ulcers and a heart attack.
Quotations about Worrying
Here is what wise people said about worrying:
“Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength—carrying two days at once. Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” —Corrie Ten Boom
“I am an old man have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” —Mark Twain
“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” —Erma Bombeck
“Do not worry about whether or not the sun will rise. Be prepared to enjoy it.” —Pearl Bailey
“A great many worries can be diminished by realizing the unimportance of the matter which is causing anxiety.” —Bertrand Russell
“Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? … Didn’t most of them turn out all right after all? “ —Dale Carnegie
“Worrying is like paying on a debt that my never come due. “ —Will Rogers
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today” (Matt. 6:34). —Jesus Christ.
How to Quell Worrying
Exercise, eat right foods, meditate.
Keep a journal.
Relax through yoga, deep breathing, massage.
Record good things in your journal.
Talk with family and friends.
Put a rubber band on your wrist and pop it when you go into a worry mode.
Trusting in God to Lessen Worrying
You may be watching the amazing ten-part series The Americas narrated by Tom Hanks. It’s Sunday evenings on channel 3. Accompanied by stunning videos made with the help of drones, Hanks tells the stories of the lands, animals, birds, and insects in America. What impressed me is the care God took in designing everything, for example, the instinct that compels monarch butterflies to fly south. God’s providence is nothing less than fantastic.
Jesus employed the physical world in his lesson on trust. He said, “Do not worry about your life” and then pointed out that birds don’t work, but our heavenly Father feeds them. Lilies don’t work either, but God clothes them elegantly. Jesus asks, “Can worrying add a single hour to your lifespan?”
Henry Ford had the right idea. He said, “With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about?”
So take Saint Padre Pio of Pietrelcino’s advice: “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.”
Here is a song about trusting in God:
• When has something you worried about not happened after all?
• How do you combat worry?
Special Devotions Enrich Spirituality: Saints Knew This
Devotions of the Saints
Special devotions are important. In the process of writing my next book, I came across this quotation from Saint Peter Julian Eymard, “Try to have a favorite topic of prayer, such as a devotion to the passion of Jesus, the Blessed Sacrament, awareness of the divine presence.”
Saint Peter Julian Eymard himself was devoted to the Blessed Sacrament, as shown by his founding the Congregation of the Blessed Sacrament for men and the Servants of the Blessed Sacrament for women. Many other Saints are known for favorite devotions. Some might be familiar; others, new to you:
• Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque loved the Sacred Heart of Jesus and promoted devotion to it as Jesus directed her in visions. Thanks to her, we have the practice of receiving Communion on the First Fridays of the months. She also promoted having the Feast of the Sacred Heart.
• Saint Alphonsus Liguori was devoted to the Blessed Virgin Mary. He exhorted others to pray to her, prayed the Rosary every day, and wrote the classic book The Glories of Mary.
• Saint Paul of the Cross was devoted to Christ’s Passion and founded the Congregation of the Passion of Jesus Christ.
• Saint Gabriel of Our Lady of Sorrows had deep devotion to the Seven Sorrows of Mary and meditated on it every day.
• Saint Faustina Kowalska had a special devotion to the Child Jesus.
• Saint Bernardine of Siena spread devotion to the Holy Name of Jesus. He introduced the monogram IHS, from the Greek word for Jesus, and composed the Litany of the Holy Name of Jesus.
• Saint Catherine of Siena’s central devotion was the most precious blood of Jesus. In fact, her dying words were “the Blood, the Blood.”
• Saint Thérèse of Lisieux favored the Holy Face. Her full religious name was Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face. Interestingly, as a child St. Julie Billiart and her sister went to Laon seeking a cure for their poor eyesight through the miraculous image of the Holy Face there. Both girls were healed.
• Saint Elizabeth of the Trinity naturally was devoted to the Trinity. She wrote a beautiful prayer to the Three Persons.
• Saint John Massias is known as “Helper of the Poor Souls” because of his constant prayers for them. Every night he prayed three rosaries for them on his knees.
• Blessed Elena Guerra is close to being proclaimed a saint is known as “an apostle of the Holy Spirit. She prompted Pope Leo to urge Catholics to pray to the Holy Spirit, which he did, including in an encyclical, Divinum Illud Munus.
Devotion to Saints
(Clicking on the blue heading above will take you to an earlier post about patron saints.)
You might have a devotion to a particular saint like your baptismal patron saint, the one your church is named for, or one that corresponds to your special interest—like St. Francis of Assisi if you are concerned about the environment.
Saint André Bessette had a passionate, lifelong devotion to Saint Joseph. He kept a small statue of him on his windowsill. As a brother in the Congregation of the Holy Cross, he managed to raise enough money to build a chapel in honor of St. Joseph, but he dreamed of a basilica, which became a reality, St. Joseph Oratory in Montreal. Brother was known for miraculous healings. (The brother-in-law of one of our Sisters was named for him after the man’s mother was cured.) When people attributed a cure to Brother André, he always said, “I do not cure.”
I have special devotion to two women saints: Saint Catherine of Siena, who is my patron saint, and Saint Julie Billiart, who founded the original Sisters of Notre Dame.
In my home this picture of St. Catherine is on the wall.
A few years ago I wrote a novel about our Mother Julie, which was translated into Portuguese and distributed by our Sisters in Brazil to celebrate their anniversary.
One of our Sisters was enamored with Saint Pio of Pietrocino (Padre Pio). She must be happy he was declared a Saint. Our Sister Cupertino was a great fan of St. Joseph Cupertino. Every year on his feastday she would put together a display about him.
Your Devotion?
If you don’t have a focus enriching your spiritual life, why not adopt one? You might find prayers related to your special devotion or compose one, display pictures of your devotion in your home, or visit churches named for it.
• What special devotion do you have…or would like to foster?
• Who do you know that has a special devotion?
Imperfections and Failures, Pros and Cons
Imperfections can have pros and cons. I recently produced an imperfect baby blanket. As I finished crocheting it, I ran out of the variegated yarn with four shell stitches left to make. Rather than ripping out the last incomplete row, I used white, sparkling yarn to make those four shells. So, yes, my blanket is imperfect. Hopefully, no one will notice. A side benefit was that my sister taught me how to make a new border using that white yarn for a ruffle.
Beauty in Imperfections
I took comfort in the fact that the Navajo inserted a mistake on purpose as they wove blankets. Supposedly this was to honor their gods, who alone are perfect. For the same reason, the gorgeous ceilings in mosques have small irregularities. Japanese artists add imperfections in their work as a necessary ingredient called “wabi-sabi.” This could be asymmetry, roughness, or a blemish like a crack. People can find beauty in imperfections, which make things unique.
Flaws can also add value. Coins minted with an error and stamps printed with a mistake can be worth thousands of dollars.
Imperfect Bodies
Because we are the result of evolution, some features of our bodies are imperfect. For one example, we hiccup. When fish and amphibians first emerged on land, they needed gills for oxygen in water and lungs on land. In water they could close the entrance to the lungs. Sometimes when we take in air, ancient muscles close the entrance to our lungs.
Dimples are a defect in a muscle, but a charming defect. Beauty marks and freckles too are flaws, but some people find them attractive.
The Search for Perfection
At the age of 73, Michelangelo was working on a 10-year project: the Florentine Pieta, probably intended for his tomb. At one point, he was so dissatisfied either with his work or with a flaw in the marble that he hacked his masterpiece, breaking a leg. Later an assistant repaired it.
This reminded me of my favorite artist who illustrated some of my works. The publisher was not happy because it too her so long. She explained to me that when she woke up in the morning and looked at her work of the previous day, she didn’t like it and tossed it. Probably some pictures in her wastebasket excelled other artists’ work.
I also recall having an opportunity to use a potter’s wheel for the first time. I tried to make a dish as a Christmas gift for my parents. Every time I shaped the clay, something was wrong with it. I quit and left without any dish at all.
Perils of Being a Perfectionist
As from the previous examples, being a perfectionist has its flaws! It wastes time and energy. It also causes stress and anxiety. Fear of making a mistake can also stymie achievements, as in Michelangelo’s case. St. Teresa of Avila said, “He who makes no mistakes, makes nothing.”
Positive Results of Imperfections
Not achieving perfection keeps us humble. It protects us from having a big head and thinking we are better then other people. It may even make us realize that we need God’s help.
At times, good might result from failure. When a dish or vase is broken, the Japanese art of Kintsugi transforms it into something beautiful. The pottery is repaired with gold.
Imperfection can have surprising, good consequences. When I played five classical pieces for an audience of 176, I messed up every one of them despite having practiced for weeks. I made comments like, “You should have been here yesterday when I practiced.” “Am I making you nervous?” “Let’s try that again.” Afterwards people said I was the comic relief for the long program. They loved my personality. They thought I was hilarious. So the fiasco had its benefits.
The Imperfections of Saints
Saints were not all beautiful or handsome. They were not all smart or pleasant to be with. A old book is titled Saints with Tilted Halos. Saints (other than our Blessed Mother) were not morally perfect. St. Therese of Lisieux was sensitive and proud. St. Jerome had a temper, and he and St. Augustine traded mean letters. The apostles James and John argued about who would be the greatest in heaven.
St. Francis de Sales said, “We must not be disturbed at our imperfections, since for us perfection consists in fighting against them. How can we fight against them unless we see them or overcome them unless we face them.”
Jesus
To some people Jesus was a failure. No doubt he felt like one on some days—as when the apostles didn’t understand his lessons and when disciples walked away from him. The gossip in Nazareth was that he was out of his mind. Religious leaders said he was possessed and accused him of faults. Romans viewed him as an unsuccessful king. Regardless, he did save all humankind.
Lent: A Time for Aiming High
We have the next weeks to perfect ourselves when it comes to living as a follower of Jesus. It’s time to evaluate our lives, check on our virtues, confess our sins, and begin again. Besides, or instead of, giving up chocolate or donuts, we might focus on eliminating one or more faults or adopting a practice (like extra time devoted to prayer) to bring us closer to holiness.
If you haven’t decided on a Lenten practice yet, here are some ideas from the Sisters of Notre Dame:
May you have a successful Lent, even though you might slip up a little!
On YouTube there are dozens of videos about failing. Here is one:
• When have you profited by not being a perfectionist?
• When has a failure led to something good?
