Mary, a Mother for Moms Replay
Mary Can Identify with Moms Today
I believe this is another post that did not reach subscribers. So here it is again.
Recently I spoke to a group of moms and grandmothers. They requested that I talk about how Mary was a model for mothers. This prompted me to review the Blessed Mother’s life noticing how it resembled what current moms might be going through. Because it is May, Mary’s month, it’s fitting that I share points with you.
We first meet Mary when she is about 14 and the angel Gabriel comes to her. Because she is engaged to Jospeh, I imagine she daydreamed about him often, maybe even when Garbriel visited. God turned her world upside down by impregnating her. Mary’s life takes a shocking turn, something other mothers might experience.
Mary as a Pregnant Woman
As any pregnant woman, Mary is thrilled to be carrying new life. But she is also apprehensive. What will the baby be like? Do I have the wisdom, skills, and patience to be a good mom? Can I bring this baby to full term? Will it survive infancy? As an unwed mother, Mary wonders what Joseph will say, her parents, the neighbors. Besides, in Mary’s culture unwed mothers were stoned to death.
Mary experiences the physical aspects of pregnancy. Her body changes, she’s tired, goes to the bathroom more often, has morning sickness, she waddles. She prepares baby clothes. Maybe her mom St. Anne and her mother-in-law give her advice. Mary travels to help elderly Elizabeth who is pregnant. No doubt the two talk about the inconveniences of being pregnant, their hopes and dreams for their sons. They support each other.
Mary as a Wife
After Mary and Joseph are wed, Mary learns how to live with a man, a partner. She has to share her life, listen to Joseph’s advice, accept his help. She no longer lives just for herself but must take him into account. She might think, What food does he like? Is my hummus too spicy for him? How can I make him happy? Is he sore from working in the carpenter shop? I’ll give him a backrub.
Mary as Mother
When Rome calls for a census, Mary must travel to Bethlehem. That means a five-day, 90-mile hike. She must wonder, “How can this be? I’m nine months pregnant. I might give birth on the side of the road. Is this really God’s plan?” No doubt today’s moms wonder things like, how could I have this car accident now? Why are gas prices rising so I must sacrifice health care? Why is the government making my life more difficult?
Then in a stable, Mary goes into labor and has her baby, a real baby. She must nurse him, burp him, change his diapers, clean up his baby spit. She also knows the joy of having him cuddle against her and watching him sleep.
King Herod is intent on killing Jesus. So Mary knows what it’s like to have a baby in danger. She would do anything to protect him. She would die for him. So she becomes a refugee in Egypt to save his life.
Mary as Keeper of the Household
Safe back at home, Mary knows a mother’s pride in watching her boy grow. She helps him crawl and walk, teaches him to talk and how to eat. Like most mothers, her life is consumed with daily tasks: cooking, sewing, shopping, cleaning, doing laundry, getting water from the well every day. She has no maid. She maintains a relationship with her mom and a mother-in-law who may be critical of her.
Mother of a God-Man
When Jesus is 12, he goes missing in Jerusalem. Children do outrageous things. For three days, Mary and Joseph search for him. Imagine their nights, their panic, their dread. After they find Jesus in the temple, Mary scolds: “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety. ” She probably shakes him and hugs him. Jesus’s response verges on being sassy. He says, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Sometimes you just don’t understand your children.
When Jesus is thirty, he is still at home (like some young adults today), and Mary is caring for him, supporting him in his carpentry business: consoling him when customers complain or the price of wood goes up.
We see the two of them at the wedding at Cana. Jesus is Mary’s only child. Looks like he’s not going to be married. That means she’ll have no grandchildren. Like most mothers, Mary is quick to notice a problem: wine is running out. Instinctively Mary acts to help. She knows her son could fix things. She takes charge and tells the waiters to do whatever Jesus tells them.
Mary as Widow
One day Joseph dies—we don’t know when or how. Maybe Mary has the shock of having him killed suddenly in a construction accident. Maybe Joseph is ill for a long time and Mary nurses him. In either case, Mary loses her life partner and goes through his funeral heartsick. She also lives through the deaths of her mother and father. Our Blessed Mother knows grief.
The day Jesus leaves to carry out his ministry, Mary had to be sad, like mothers are when their child leaves for kindergarten, college, or marriage. Then rumors come back to Nazareth that her son is crazy and possessed by the devil. Certainly she worries about him like mothers you suffer when their child is bullied or misunderstood. Things get worse when he returns home and Mary’s neighbor and relatives don’t like what he says and try to throw him off a cliff. There is a mountain in Nazareth with a chapel called Our Lady of Fright. Presumably that is where Mary watched as people tried to kill her son. Then she had to deal with those people afterward. She would meet the women at the well. That had to be awkward.
Later when Jesus is preaching and people tell him his mother and brother want to see him. He says, “Rather my mother and brother are those who hear the world of God and keep it.” Now that looks like a slight that hurts Mary. She might think, “All I did for you and that’s how you treat me?” However, Mary more than anyone heard the word of God and kept it. Sometimes moms are hurt by their children.
Childless
One station of the cross is Jesus meets his mother. She stands with him during his painful suffering. Although all but one apostle desert him, she is there on Calvary watching her child die, her only child. She once kissed that head that is crowned with thorns. She heard his first word, mama, and now hears his last. She watched him draw his first breath, and now she sees his last. This is the cruelest pain a mother can suffer, to see a child die.
From the cross, Jesus gave her John as a son. This apostle represented all of us. At Pentecost Mary is with the apostles praying with them. She forgave those who deserted her son. She is their mother now too. Living with John, she had to adjust to a new situation: a different home, country, lifestyle. Change is hard. No one likes it but a baby with a wet diaper.
Right now Mary is Queen of Heaven, but she remembers what it was like to be a mom. She’s been there. She eager to help moms carry out their difficult but all-important vocation. They can look to her as a model. Besides asking WWJD mom can say WWMD?
When St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta faced a difficulty, she prayed, “Mary, Mother of Jesus, please be a mother to me now.” She advised, “When distressed, call on Our Lady. Say this simple prayer. I admit this prayer has never failed me.”
A Favorite Marian Christmas Song
Here is a version of “Mary, Did You Know?” that I think you will like:
What about Mary had you not thought of before?
What feature of Mary’s life do you think was the most difficult for her besides Jesus’s death?
Encouragement vs. Discouragement Replay
Through some glitch in the system, three of my posts did not reach subscribers. So I am sending them out again! (This also gives me some extra time as I prepare to go to Africa next month!)
Recently a friend who returned from South Africa told me this story. She met a woman, who had a lovely voice and composed her own songs but used to sing only for herself, family, and friends. One day someone commented to her that she ought to share her gift with others by becoming a professional. The woman is now a popular singer with recordings. All it took for her musical success was a verbal nudge.
Encouragement is powerful and intimate. The etymology of the word shows this: “cour” is heart.” To encourage someone is to put heart into them, to give them courage, to lift their spirits. We do this by showing confidence in someone, affirming them, giving them hope.
No doubt, you mastered the feat of walking when someone urged, “Come on. Come on. You can do it.” Maybe now a therapist says to you, “You’re doing great. Keep going.”
Encouragement requires identifying a talent in someone and persuading them to develop it. This takes empathy. It means assuring someone that you are with them. You’ve got their back.
My Encouragers
I recall that when we children looking for something lost, a neighbor woman said to me, “Kathy, you’re always so good at finding things.” I don’t think she really knew that, but it goaded me to search for the item even harder and persevere.
After I played a Chopin prelude, my piano teacher said, “That was beautiful. Ask your parents if they would send you to the Cleveland Institute of Music.” What a vote of confidence! But we decided I wouldn’t go. It was just as well because my teacher never brought it up again.
At the end of the school year, my eighth-grade teacher, Sister John Francis, asked me to write compositions during the summer and send them to her at Xavier University, where she was studying. With her support and encouragement my writing skills were honed.
Years later I was asked to speak at a national convention. At the time I had never addressed a group larger than about 35—my students. During the days I was given to reply, I asked a friend, Sister Melannie, if she thought I could do it. She remarked, “If you can teach, you can talk.” Her words emboldened me. Ever since then I’ve been giving talks, or as she put it, “making money with my mouth.”
The Virtue of Encouragement
Scripture encourages encouragement. (See what I did there?) St. Paul wrote, “Encourage one another and build each other up. (1 Thessalonians 5:11) He lists encouragement as one of the spiritual gifts bestowed on believers. (Romans 12:8) In Hebrews 10:24–25, Paul advised how to be holy: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
To encourage others is to bless them. And in blessing them, we ourselves are blessed.
God is the ideal encourager. He is known as the God of encouragement. In Isaiah 41:10 God says,, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.”
Today’s World
In the song “Home on the Range,” the range is a pleasant place where “Never is heard a discouraging word.” The world now is quite the opposite. The atmosphere is rife with criticisms and putdowns. Attacking other people instead of building them up is the modus operandi for too many. Success is then squelched. People who encourage others are more needed than ever.
Look how Helen Keller blossomed with Anne Sullivan’s encouragement.
Pythagoras encouraged Plato.
Bruce Lee encouraged several other actors.
A physical education teacher encouraged Rihanna to pursue music.
Some Encouraging Words:
“You’ve got this!”
“I believe in you.”
“Don’t give up.”
“Trust yourself.”
“One step at a time.”
“I’m here for you.”
“You’re stronger (better) than you think.”
Besides speaking words to boost people’s confidence, we can also write notes or send emails that do that.
By the way, indulge in a little self-encouragement occasionally: “I can do this. I am strong. I’ve done this before, etc.”
Goethe noted, “Instruction does much, but encouragement everything.”
For Reflection and Comment
When have you benefited from someone’s encouragement?
How can you encourage someone now?
What Scripture verse gives you confidence and hope?
See what a little encouragement can do:
Here is a hilarious video that clearly demonstrates the power of encouragement. I first saw it on America’s Funniest Videos. Click the link and make sure you have the sound on by clicking “unmute.”
https://9gag.com/gag/an7VLbb?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medium=post_share
The Holy Spirit, Our Invisible Advocate
We’ve just celebrated the great feast of Pentecost. Did you wear red for it? Do you remember when we referred to the Holy Ghost? Spirit and ghost (from Old English gast) are synonyms, but as time passed, ghost came to mean a dead person and was frightening to children and somewhat creepy. So the Church and Bible translators substituted Spirit for the Third Person of the Trinity.
This Person has been dubbed the Cinderella of the Trinity because he (or she) is overlooked. One reason people tend to neglect the Holy Spirit in prayer is that a spirit can’t be visualized. We picture the Father as an old man, and the Son as his incarnated form, Jesus. But artists depict the Spirit as a dove, as he appeared at the baptism of Jesus. So that’s how we think of him. But praying to a bird isn’t appealing. (A newspaper once carried a story about a speeding driver in Germany captured by a police camera. In the photo a large white dove with wings spread over the driver’s face saved him from a ticket!)
My Experience with the Holy Spirit
When a spiritual director asked me, “Do you pray to the Holy Spirit?” I said, “No, not specifically.” He was surprised and replied, “You, a writer, and you don’t pray to the Holy Spirit!” Since then I’ve addressed prayers to all three persons in the Trinity: the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I’ve learned from personal experience that this Spirit is all that Jesus promised: a powerful helper. Jesus called him a Paraclete, that is, someone who stands with someone in need, a lawyer, an advocate, a friend. I call the Holy Spirit my co-author. Without his inspiration, how could I ever have written so many books and textbook series?
On Pentecost the Spirit of Jesus swooped down is the forms of strong wind flames of fire. He filled the disciples so that miraculously they spoke in languages foreigners could understand. They also were filled with courage to emerge from their hiding place. This same Spirit inspires me with ideas and words when I have writer’s block. But more than that…
(more…)Creation: God’s Masterpiece
Creation Speaks of God
The other day after a storm, I saw a brilliant double rainbow in the sky above our property. You can see it in my photo above. It made me think that if that rainbow is so beautiful, how much more beautiful God must be and how good he was to give us rainbows.
Coincidentally, this week is Laudate Si’ week, the 11th anniversary of Pope Francis’s encyclical on caring for creation.
I love this quotation: I said to the almond tree, “Sister, speak to me of God.” And the almond tree blossomed. ~ Nikos Kazantzakis The tree spoke of God’s beauty and tendency to be life-giving.
Creations mirror their creators. A song reflects the composer; a painting, the artist; a book, the author. In the same way, the universe, the masterpiece of the supreme Creator, reveals God. It has variety, (over 11,000 kinds of birds). It is intricate (bees know how to make honey and wax)’ It is immense. (We went to the moon but don’t know where the universe ends.) It has power like sun flares and crashing ocean waves.
All these qualities show that God is good and has great wisdom and power. Pope Francis notes in his encyclical Laudato Si’ that St. Francis of Assisi “invites us to see nature as a magnificent book in which God speaks to us and grants us a glimpse of his infinite beauty and goodness” (par. 12).
Every created thing is an epiphany, (a manifestation of God), echoing some aspect of God. Examples: To behold a massive snow-topped mountain is to know God’s majesty. To watch a waterfall’s refreshing water cascade into a deep, clear pool is to see God’s purity. To stroll through woods of lovely ferns, mosses, and lofty trees is to be enveloped with the peace and serenity of God. The fragile daisy with its velvety white petals and bright yellow center tells of the Creator’s gentleness, while the rainbow arched across purple-gray clouds speaks of his beauty. A newborn baby is evidence of God’s tenderness. Fire reminds us of the energy of God’s love. A monkey shows God’s sense of humor, and a giraffe, his unpredictability.
Three Hymns of Creation
The psalmist is attuned to the speechless voices of the universe. He sings of the sun, moon, and stars this way:
The heavens are telling the glory of God;
and the firmament proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours forth speech,
and night to night declares knowledge.
There is no speech nor are there words; their voice is not heard;
yet their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.
Psalm 19:1–4
St. Gregory Nazianzen, a fourth-century Archbishop of Constantinople as well as a Doctor of the Church, echoes this concept in a hymn:
All things proclaim you—
things that can speak, and those that can not. . . . All things breathe you a prayer,
a silent hymn of your own composing.
In the same tradition, St. Francis of Assisi, who loved nature, expresses the following prayer in his joyous paean “Canticle of the Sun”:
Praise be to Thee, my Lord, with all Thy creatures especially to my Brother Sun,
Who brings us the day and through him Thou dost brightness give.
And beautiful is he and radiant with splendor great. Of Thee, Most High, he speaks.
Creation and Us
Theologian and philosopher Teilhard Chardin wrote that all creation manifests the Creator: “[T]he great mystery of Christianity is not exactly the appearance, but the transparence, of God in the universe.” In other words we see God through things like through a glass window.
Physical things are important to us. We are part spiritual, part material. We live and work out our destiny in the realm of matter. How we use it and how we abuse it determine our eternity. We are free to exploit the material universe for our own power and pleasure, or we can share it. Either we can let it go to ruin or show concern for it. We can regard the world as just the lucky result of a coincidental combination of chemicals eons ago, or we can cherish it as the love-gift of a personal God who cares about us. The latter point of view opens for us the possibility of finding material objects a source of prayer.
You too are God’s creation. You show his wisdom, ingenuity, and love. How fast your skin heals after it’s cut! Reflect on how food turns into your body—miraculous! Look how your eyes perceive many different colors.
Jesus’s Love for Creation
The Son of God took on flesh and lived with us among color, hardness, roughness, scent, wetness, and warmth. Jesus reveled in the things of Earth, his Father’s handiwork. Jesus saw that they were good—so good that he redeemed them along with all of us at the price of his life. He redeemed all of creation.
Jesus enjoyed the aroma and taste of his mother’s freshly baked bread. He liked putting on a clean robe. In addition, he appreciated his human body that allowed him to wrestle with other boys, dance at weddings, and walk for miles. With his eyes and sense of touch he constructed things in the carpenter shop. He thrilled to the strong winds coming off the Sea of Galilee and liked the smell and feel of a gentle spring rain. He also liked strolling through fields of barley and running his hands through the grains.
By the way, you don’t need to feel bad if you never go the Holy Land. A bishop pointed out that because Jesus lived on earth, he breathed our air, drank our water, ate our food, and trod on our ground. He sanctified it. The whole earth is holy land.
Jesus often incorporated concrete objects in his teaching. His audiovisuals were the birds of the air, lilies, the bread women baked, the Temple in Jerusalem, a Roman coin, and the roadside fig tree. Today, from the dimension where he dwells, Jesus reaches out to us in the sacraments and touches us with things: water, bread, wine, and oil. Matter has been christened by his presence.
God fills the universe completely. So there is a mystical meaning to be found in a leaf, in a mountain trail, in a dewdrop, in a poor person’s face. The ideal is not only to discover the action of God in the soul, but also to discover God in all things. Saint Bonaventure teaches us that “contemplation deepens (the more we feel the workings of God’s grace within our hearts) and the better we learn to encounter God in creatures outside ourselves.”
For Reflection:
1. On beholding the starry night sky, the composer of Psalm 8 was awestruck. The sight lifted his mind and heart to the Creator. What especially in God’s creation prompts you to think of him and pray?
2. Where is your favorite place to pray—where you can ponder God and listen to him speak to your heart? Where on Earth did Jesus pray?
3. What feature of your body are you grateful for?
This lovely recording includes the lyrics of the song:
Rosary Trivia
No doubt everyone recognizes the Rosary as a Catholic devotion. Presumably, most Catholics own at least one rosary. Chances are, they pray it while traveling or trying to fall asleep, finding it more comforting than lavender oil. Rosaries hang from rear view mirrors and are in hands of those in coffins. As I research the Rosary, I’m discovering some little known facts about it that are intriguing. Today I’ll share some with you.
History of the Rosary
Long ago people who couldn’t pray the 150 psalms prayed the Our Father on beads called paternosters. Later when the Hail Mary prayer took shape, it replaced the Our Father prayers. In the beginning, only the first half of the Hail Mary was prayed!
Lady Godiva bequeathed her paternoster of gems to a monastery.
St. Dominic and his Dominicans promoted the rosary. However, people were praying the prayers before he lived, and the mysteries arose after he lived. Therefore the idea that Mary gave him the rosary seems to be a legend that a fellow Dominican who lived much later spread.
When Mary appeared at Fatima in 1917, she recommended praying the Fatima Prayer after each decade: O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to heaven, especially those in most need of thy mercy.
Originally the Assumption and Coronation of Mary were the fourth glorious mystery, and the Second Coming of Christ was the fifth one.
Mary Queen of Scots took her gold rosary with her to her execution in 1587. It had a gold filigree crucifix with an image of Mary on the reverse side. Three drop pearls were attached directly from the circle of fifty beads. Unfortunately, someone stole it from Arundel Castle in 2021.
Chaucer, who wrote the Canterbury Tales, appears in a frontispiece with a rosary in his hand.
Unique Rosaries
The world’s largest rosary is behind Christ King Cathedral in the City of Tagum in the Philippines. It measures 280 feet. Each bead of Magcono wood weighs a little over 77 pounds, and the entire Rosary weighs 6,206 pounds.
The world’s most expensive rosary was sold at auction for $842,500. It was passed down through the Germanic Saxon royal family from the 17th century. It is made of 70 emerald beads spaced by gold rondelles with diamonds embedded. Five emeralds and diamonds set in gold form the cross.
Donald Brown started collecting rosaries in 1917. Before dying in 1975, he had amassed about 4,000 of them from thimble-size to 16 feet long. Some of his rosaries are associated with famous people like President John F. Kennedy, Sister Lúcia, and St. Padre Pio.
Unique Beads
In Windsor, Ohio, foot-high lamps, large, white globes, form a giant rosary. It encircles a fifty-foot-high statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe, the tallest one of her in the world. A whopping 450,00 one-inch mosaic tiles cover the statue.
A unique rosary sold at the Basilica of the Immaculate Conception and elsewhere has beads like ladybugs. The reason is a legend. In the Middle Ages when insects plagued crops in Europe, people prayed to Mary. Bugs with orange-red wings arrived and devoured the pests. People called their saviors Our Lady’s Bugs, which became ladybugs. Common ladybugs have seven black spots on their wings, said to represent Mary’s seven joys and sorrows.
Sister Angela Salazar made a rosary from baked cotton balls, providing me with a photo for my book about art activities for parents and teachers.
Rosary Facts
In Mary’s apparitions—especially at Fatima—she stressed the importance of praying the rosary for world peace.
In 1949 Brother Sylvan Mattingly, C.F.X. founded Our Lady’s Rosary Makers based in Louisville, Kentucky. Its 17,000 members make and distribute about seven million rosaries a year for Catholic missions, both chain and cord rosaries. See their website.
Pope Leo XIII wrote no less than twelve encyclicals on the Rosary.
An atomic bomb detonated in Hiroshima, Japan in 1945, killed or injured 140,000 people. Eight blocks from the bomb was a house for Jesuits. Surprisingly, although the bomb destroyed the church attached to the house as well as everything around it, the house survived and so did the Jesuits who lived in it. The men suffered only minor injuries. They credited their remarkable survival to the fact that they prayed the Rosary daily in that house.
For some religious communities, like the Rosary Sisters from Jerusalem, the rosary was part of the habit. We Notre Dame Sisters wore ours hanging from a hook at the right side of our waist.
Other Prayer Beads
Islam prayer beads (tasbih) have 99 beads for the 99 names of God. Supposedly Fatima, Muhammad’s daughter made the first set in the seventh century. A smaller version has 33 beads in sets of 11. Muslims use it to count praises of God. For example, on the first set people pray “Glory be to Allah,” on the second set “All praise is due to Allah,” and on the third set, “Allah is the Greatest.” Here is the tasbih that I purchased when I was in the United Arab Emirates:
The Seven Sorrows Rosary comprises seven sets of seven beads. During each set, people pray an Our Father and seven Hail Marys in honor of one of Our Lady’s sorrows. A complement to this rosary is the Seven Joys of Mary Rosary. It has seven decades plus two Hail Marys. This totals 72, the number of years Mary presumably lived on earth.
A novena is praying a prayer for nine days. Therefore the 54 Day Novena is praying three novenas of the rosary (27 days) in petition and three novenas in thanksgiving for a total of 54 days. Special prayers for this are on the Hallow website .
Anglicans and Lutherans have developed their own forms of prayer beads. The Lutheran one is known as the Wreath of Christ.
Annually in London a Rosary Crusade of Reparation occurs. The fortieth one took place on October 13, 2025. More than two thousand people walked two miles, praying the Rosary and singing hymns.
A man in Florida conceived the idea of Hopeful Mysteries of the Rosary to foster hope in people who live in a world in turmoil. Fr. Chris Winklejohn developed the mysteries. Then in 2025, Bishop William Wack gave these mysteries an imprimatur and declared them worthy of devotion. The five Hopeful Mysteries are Creation, the Great Flood, the Exodus, Abraham’s sacrifice, and the Immaculate Conception of Mary.
For Reflection
Do you have a rosary that has special meaning for you?
When do you pray the Rosary?
Have you ever prayed original mysteries, such as joys you had or Jesus’ miracles?
Here is the Hail Mary prayed in Aramaic, the language of Mary and her Son.
