Words That Wound
I think most people right now are fed up with the negative political ads polluting the media. Those ads that attack a competitor personally are the most offensive. We have an innate sense that this is wrong. Maybe the name callers and slanderers should watch the movie Bambi again. In it Thumper quotes his mother: “If you can’t say anything nice about a person, don’t say nothing at all.” Yes, the word is mightier than the sword . . . and words can cut another person’s reputation into shreds.
Politicians aren’t the only ones who wreak harm by pointing out another person’s faults (or perceived faults!) Probably each of us has been guilty of this at some time, or at least tempted. Otherwise we wouldn’t find such strong cautionary words in the Bible about the dangers of the tongue. There we read, “The tongue is a fire” which “is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3:6) and, “Do not speak evil against one another” (James 4:11).
What we say about another person affects our listeners for good or ill. It forms an impression of the person spoke of that may be difficult to dispel. And that impression may be incorrect. Badmouthing a person has no good consequences. When I was preparing to teach, I was told not to listen to a class’s previous teacher who made comments like, “This class is nothing but trouble.” Perhaps that teacher had a problem, and the class would turn out to be a dream class for me. I also remember when a Jewish editor was terrified to call me with a question. (He wanted to know how to spell Poor Souls!) Someone at the publishing company had described me as a witch, which I don’t think I am. Speaking ill of someone has another unwelcome effect. It leaves the listeners wondering what the speaker says about them behind their backs.
Why do some people speak of other’s faults? Not only to win elections. Maybe seeing faults in others makes us look better, as though we had no faults. If someone sins or has a glaring fault, because we are all one, it makes all of us a little less. Then rather than talk about the flaw, we should feel bad about it, keep still, and recall St. Francis’s words when he saw a sinner: “There for the grace of God go I.” And as someone said, “If you can’t say anything nice about a person, try harder to find something nice.”
What are your thoughts on these “uglies”— slander, gossip, badmouthing, and the like?
Pennies from Heaven?
Recently the “Dear Abby” column included a letter from a woman who spoke of inexplicably finding a penny in the finger of a glove. The woman interpreted it as a sign that her deceased mother was with her. As Catholics we believe that our beloved dead still exist in another dimension. Ordinarily we have no contact with them, but occasionally they seem to break through from “the other side.” An editor once confided that one morning shortly after her husband died, she distinctly felt him kiss her forehead. As a boy, my nephew saw a recently deceased neighbor woman walking down the sidewalk. A few years ago our pastor at St. Dominic shared a parishioner’s experience: (more…)
Surprise: New Life
Last week the lawn where I live was brown with bald patches. When Jim came to mow it, I ran out and asked, “Why are you doing this?” He assured me that after a rain the grass would spring up again. Looking at the ugly dead lawns all down the street, I doubted him. But sure enough. Today after a good soaking rain, the lawns are green again. This makes a neat metaphor. Theologically speaking, it symbolizes the condition of the human race. We once were dead because of sin. Then Jesus came, shed his blood on the cross, and we have new life. I’ve seen other death-to-life scenarios. (more…)
St. Joseph, a Father Figure
My niece and her husband are newlyweds trying to sell their houses. Brian is Jewish, but both of them buried a little statue of St. Joseph in their yards. This popular custom no doubt arose because Joseph was head of the house in the Holy Family and a carpenter (or construction worker) at that. I reminded my niece that after a house sells, the statue is supposed to be exhumed and set in a place of honor in the new house. She knew that. (more…)
Saying “I’m Sorry”
The other day I explained to a postal clerk at the post office that a box I had mailed arrived empty. She curtly said, “There’s nothing you can do about it.” Period. Pursuing the matter, I spoke to an employee on the phone. Her first words were “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” What a difference! She couldn’t help me much either, but her sympathetic apology made me feel better! Words are powerful. For good reason our parents taught us to say “I’m sorry” as well as “Please” and “Thank you.” (more…)
