The Importance of Meals
On the last two Sundays in September my community holds a chicken barbeque at our provincial center. A few years ago, we considered stopping these events. There are fewer SNDs, and the BBQs are a lot of work! However, the deciding factor was that at the BBQs friends, relatives, and coworkers come together for a meal and enjoy reconnecting with the Sisters and one another. That is why this year is our 50th BBQ. It is one of many special meals.
We must eat to live (not live to eat). Yet this bodily need is seasoned with many spiritual meanings. I think of my recent meals. Dining with Sisters one evening strengthened our bonds of friendship as we talked and laughed together while feasting on a prize-winning zucchini pie prepared by one of them. At a luncheon I celebrated the 40th anniversary of the Cleveland Avilas, who pray for and support vocations to the priesthood and religious life. On another day my mother treated my sister and me to a meal at Red Lobster to thank us for our care of her. Sharing meals is a sign of love.
No wonder Jesus chose a meal as the means to unite us to him and one another. Each time we gather for the Eucharist and partake of the blessed bread and wine, our spiritual life is nourished. We have the energy to live as Christians. But at the same time, we enjoy the company of the people who are there at Mass celebrating with us. Our spirits are lifted.
Every good, life-giving meal on earth is a sign of that happy everlasting banquet we will attend in heaven. We have only to answer yes to the RSVP.
What meal or Mass has had special meaning for you?
Our Catholic Siblings in the Mideast
Last Friday Pope Benedict signed a document that came out of the synod on the Church in the Middle East. Appropriately it was the feast of the Exultation of the Cross. With the turmoil in those countries, our fellow Christians are suffering. Before my visits to Arabia, I was in the dark about the Middle East, not to mention the Church there. I had to google Abu Dhabi, and it took a month to pronounce it correctly! Let me tell you about one group I met: the Arab Sisters who minister in Sharjah, the most Muslim emirate in the United Arab Emirates. (more…)
The Power of Example
We influence people more than we think. When I was about eleven, Mr. Goode, a composer, visited us and played a Chopin etude on my piano. I soaked up every note and his style. After my piano teacher assigned me that piece, I played it for her just as Mr. Goode did, imitating his crescendos and retards. When I finished, my teacher said, “Ah, that was beautiful. Ask your parents if you can start going to the Cleveland Institute of Music.” My mother and I decided no. But I didn’t have to tell my teacher because at my next lesson I played like I usually did, and she never brought it up!
Just as Mr. Goode made an impression on me, we are constantly affecting others for good or evil. There is a tendency within us to imitate. I guess it is something we have in common with other primates: “Monkey see, monkey do.” Think of a crisis when everyone is frozen and then one person starts acting. Everyone follows suit. Think of a mob that acts as one. Think of our desire to wear the current fashions like everyone else. This is why we are encouraged to learn about the lives of the saints. Their heroic virtues inspire us to live the same way. The same thing happens when I watch the Olympics. Those athletes who strive with all their might to achieve the perfect tens motivate me to be the best I can be. Although I never could do a cartwheel, still I can work to make the most of my writing gift.
We can be models for others. The most persuasive tool we have for bringing others to God is our own life. When people see us endure suffering without complaint because of our faith, when they see us donating time and money to help the needy, when they see us going to church and praying, they just might be drawn to imitate us. This is the principle behind St. Francis of Assisi’s oft-quoted words to his men as he sent them into a town: “Preach, and if necessary use words.”
When has someone been a model leading you to improve your life?
Words That Wound
I think most people right now are fed up with the negative political ads polluting the media. Those ads that attack a competitor personally are the most offensive. We have an innate sense that this is wrong. Maybe the name callers and slanderers should watch the movie Bambi again. In it Thumper quotes his mother: “If you can’t say anything nice about a person, don’t say nothing at all.” Yes, the word is mightier than the sword . . . and words can cut another person’s reputation into shreds.
Politicians aren’t the only ones who wreak harm by pointing out another person’s faults (or perceived faults!) Probably each of us has been guilty of this at some time, or at least tempted. Otherwise we wouldn’t find such strong cautionary words in the Bible about the dangers of the tongue. There we read, “The tongue is a fire” which “is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3:6) and, “Do not speak evil against one another” (James 4:11).
What we say about another person affects our listeners for good or ill. It forms an impression of the person spoke of that may be difficult to dispel. And that impression may be incorrect. Badmouthing a person has no good consequences. When I was preparing to teach, I was told not to listen to a class’s previous teacher who made comments like, “This class is nothing but trouble.” Perhaps that teacher had a problem, and the class would turn out to be a dream class for me. I also remember when a Jewish editor was terrified to call me with a question. (He wanted to know how to spell Poor Souls!) Someone at the publishing company had described me as a witch, which I don’t think I am. Speaking ill of someone has another unwelcome effect. It leaves the listeners wondering what the speaker says about them behind their backs.
Why do some people speak of other’s faults? Not only to win elections. Maybe seeing faults in others makes us look better, as though we had no faults. If someone sins or has a glaring fault, because we are all one, it makes all of us a little less. Then rather than talk about the flaw, we should feel bad about it, keep still, and recall St. Francis’s words when he saw a sinner: “There for the grace of God go I.” And as someone said, “If you can’t say anything nice about a person, try harder to find something nice.”
What are your thoughts on these “uglies”— slander, gossip, badmouthing, and the like?
Pennies from Heaven?
Recently the “Dear Abby” column included a letter from a woman who spoke of inexplicably finding a penny in the finger of a glove. The woman interpreted it as a sign that her deceased mother was with her. As Catholics we believe that our beloved dead still exist in another dimension. Ordinarily we have no contact with them, but occasionally they seem to break through from “the other side.” An editor once confided that one morning shortly after her husband died, she distinctly felt him kiss her forehead. As a boy, my nephew saw a recently deceased neighbor woman walking down the sidewalk. A few years ago our pastor at St. Dominic shared a parishioner’s experience: (more…)
