Helpful Catholic Book on Annulments
I’m on spring vacation, but here is a book review for you . . .
BOOK REVIEW
Mending the Heart: A Catholic Annulment Companion by Lisa Duffy
This is a valuable book for anyone who is divorced and considering an annulment—especially those who fear or question the process.
Because the author has endured the horrible, heartbreaking experience of an unexpected divorce, she can identify with other divorced people. In addition, she has spent almost twenty years helping people recover from divorce and move on. As a result, she has put together a practical and thorough explanation of the annulment process, including Pope Francis’s recent changes. More than that, in a gentle, compassionate way, she offers advice for recovering from the pain of divorce.
Duffy clearly explains the Catholic view of marriage and divorce, in particular, what constitutes a valid marriage. When a marriage has been judged invalid, the two parties are free to remarry without being deprived of the sacraments. The author also dispels misunderstandings about the annulment process, such as the error of thinking that an annulment makes children illegitimate.
The chapters are built on verses from Eccesiastes 3:1–8 (“There is a season and a time for every matter under heaven,” and so forth). Examples drawn from people’s experiences demonstrate and clarify the author’s messages. Each chapter concludes with a list of its main points followed by questions that guide the divorced reader to analyze his or her own situation.
One significant suggestion Duffy offers is to take time going through the process of recovery. A warning she gives and explains is not to form a new relationship while the annulment process is ongoing.
After reading and studying this book, divorced people can come to view an annulment as a blessing that helps them understand themselves better and boosts them into the next phase of their life’s journey. I strongly recommend this book not only for divorced people, for those who would like to know where the Church stands on marriage and divorce.
The 112-page book is published by Our Sunday Visitor and sells for $13.95.
Do you know a divorced Catholic who might benefit from reading this book?
Scars of Love: Jesus’ Wounds and Ours
My father was not one to demonstrate affection to us kids either physically or verbally. However, while he was in the hospital dying, one day he held up his hands and said to my mom and me, “I showed my love by these hands.” Dad always worked night shift in a factory and came home at three in the morning. His hands were calloused. Sometimes a fingernail was black, damaged in the shop.
I thought of my father’s hands when I read the account of the risen Lord coming to his apostles for the first time. They already heard he was alive from the women and from the two disciples who met him on the way to Emmaus. But they don’t believe he rose from the dead. When Jesus comes though the locked doors, they are terrified and think he is a ghost. Jesus proves that it is really he by showing his hands and feet that are still marked with the wounds of his love. You would think that a new, glorified body would be perfect—but, no, the body of Jesus bore scars. He may be marked like that for all eternity so that we too will see his scars.
Jesus proved that he wasn’t a ghost by inviting the apostles to touch him, by explaining the Scripture passages that referred to his death and resurrection, and by eating some fish. (Ghosts don’t eat.) But the most convincing sign of Jesus’s identity was those five wounds. They were red badges of his love for us.
Loving service takes a toll on us too. Parents bear scars of burns from cooking meals for their families and ironing clothes. Teachers and nurses often develop varicose veins from standing for long hours. Members of the armed forces come home maimed. Police officers get shot or hit or dragged by cars. Some people sacrifice a kidney so that another person can live.
This week we might reflect on people who have been wounded in the course of loving us. We might also ask how we have followed the example of Jesus by 
offering ourselves for others in some form. What kind of scars do we bear? Blisters from building a Habitat for Humanity house? A knife cut on a finger from preparing a meal for someone in a hunger center? Keep in mind that some scars are not visible, for example, a bruised heart from being rebuffed after attempting to reconcile with someone.
As we celebrate the fifty days of the Easter season, let’s not forget that the triumph was only possible because God endured Good Friday’s pain for love of us.
Easter: Jesus Is Pro-Life
This week a white oak tree in Lakewood, Ohio, that was about two hundred years old was cut down because it was decaying. However, efforts are being made to keep it alive by grafting parts of it. We are all in favor of keeping things alive. When one of our plants is withering, we feed it fertilizer, water it, and maybe talk or sing to it in hopes of reviving it! We are saddened to hear about species going extinct. Our strongest instinct, humans and animals alike, is self-preservation. God too promotes life. God brings babies into the world every day. Scripture says he is God of the living, not the dead. God went to extreme lengths to preserve our eternal life. During Holy Week we ponder the mystery of Jesus undergoing an excruciating death just so we could live forever with him. On Easter we celebrate that he burst forth from his tomb with new, glorious life. His triumph is our triumph too, for it means that we can trust his promise of new life for us. Someday after we die, we too will rise. All of our family members and friends whom we sorely miss will also come to life. So will all the people from past centuries who we wish we had known—St. Catherine of Siena, St. Don Bosco, Michelangelo, Beethoven, Shakespeare, and so forth. (more…)
Perseverance Pays Off for Us and Jesus
Recently a video on Facebook showed a little girl about six-years-old trying to jump onto a green stool almost her height. She falls to the floor over and over again, but never stops trying. Finally her dad stands behind her, holds her shoulders, and says something to her we can’t hear. I thought he was going to lift her onto the chair. But no. He disappears. The girl gives one mighty leap and stands on top of the stool, triumphant. What a lesson in perseverance! Better than Aesop’s fable of the hare and the tortoise. It made me think of times I persevered…and times I didn’t. For example, sometimes when I start a crossword puzzle, many of the clues stump me, and I think, I can’t do this one. But as I tackle it, little by little the grid is filled in, sometimes without even cheating! But then there are the times I tried to learn Spanish and quit. Even now the books and tapes are gathering dust. (more…)
Spending Time Wisely: Priorities Parable
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An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
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The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”
