My friend Roman Vaynshtok, a Reiki practitioner and teacher, wrote a thought-provoking article with advice for having true self-concepts and becoming the person God meant us to be. He allowed me to share it with you on my blog . . .

How Beliefs Form

Our beliefs and preconceptions often form quietly. They are shaped by our upbringing, culture, experiences, and our need to make sense of the world. Over time, they become so familiar that we stop noticing them. They move into the background of our awareness, influencing how we interpret situations, respond to others, and even see ourselves. In this way, they can become invisible chains that keep us in a predetermined box, limiting our world.

These mental patterns are not inherently negative. They help us navigate life, offering structure and sense in a complex and ever-changing reality. But when we begin to mistake them for absolute truth, they close us off. Curiosity fades. We stop exploring and start filtering everything through what we already established as “truth.” The world becomes smaller, more predictable, and less flexible. Our limiting beliefs are creations of our mind to protect us from “unnecessary risk”, from “possibility of failure,” from the “judgment of others.”

Dealing with Limiting Beliefs

Everything in our lives can be changed only after we try to look with compassion and try to understand the causes. The same applies to limiting beliefs. When we stop fighting or dismissing them as something negative and accept them as a protective mechanism, everything changes. This approach changes our mindset. We move from the place of fear to the world of unlimited possibilities. In the world, we can win and also lose, but losing is not failure – it’s a learning experience. A world where the desire for success is much stronger than the fear of failure.

Before we address our limiting beliefs, we need to recognize them. It is the quiet voice that whispers “this is who I am,” “I’m not good at…,” “it always happens to me,” etc. These beliefs are not necessary truths; they are the chain that holds you back. There are a few steps that can help you challenge them:

• ·       Be aware of the power of self-talk. Ideas you repeatedly bring about yourself could become a self-fulfilling prophecy or a self-sabotaging tactic, so question them.
• ·       If they say, “I’m not good at public speaking,” try reminding yourself that you speak in front of a group of people, even if they are friends or family gathering.
• ·       Create a new narrative. Gather evidence that contradicts your beliefs. Anything in your daily interactions or at work that disputes your limiting beliefs, if you notice them, will weaken your self-limitation.

False Concepts vs. Experience

Your previous experiences from childhood or early years created these beliefs. They cannot be dismissed or easily ignored. What we can do is question their truth by collecting evidence that challenges them. Our brain does not respond to wishful thinking; this is why positive affirmations very rarely work, but it will accept real experiences. This is why it is important to collect/recognize evidence of even the smallest successes that will question old beliefs. By doing that, we eventually can replace old beliefs with new ones. The number one obstacle to this is when our brain tells us that our success is pure luck. This is why consistency in collecting and presenting evidence is so important. Our job is to show ourselves the evidence that our brains have trained us to ignore. Our approach is not to confront but to give our brains alternatives with evidence attached.

The moment we recognize that our perspective is just one interpretation among many, something changes. A space opens between us and our beliefs. In that space lies the freedom to ask questions and to challenge our beliefs. So, after your presentation, you can tell yourself, “I did it. Maybe it wasn’t perfect, but it was better than the previous one. People were listening. I became better at this.”

It is very important to understand that our brain updates beliefs through experience far more readily than through logic, and that identifying and changing self-limiting beliefs takes work and time.

A Funny Example

In the fifth grade both of my best friends were redheads, while I thought I was a dull brown. One day I even washed my hair with vinegar because I read that it would bring out red highlights. It didn’t. Decades later, a friend who had black hair and I were cutting each other’s hair. When I mentioned my brown hair, she picked up two cuttings from the floor, mine and hers. “Look, your hair isn’t brown. It’s as black as mine,” she said. She was right.

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Roman’s wrote the book Reiki: Energy of Love, which I edited for him. If you are curious about Reiki, purchase a copy.

Limiting beliefs have held many people back…. But Reiki practice and Reiki precepts provide additional tools to address them.

Have you ever had a false concept about yourself changed? How? Did an experience correct it? Or someone’s words?