Mary Can Identify with Moms Today

Recently I spoke to a group of moms and grandmothers. They requested that I talk about how Mary was a model for mothers. This prompted me to review the Blessed Mother’s life noticing how it resembled what current moms might be going through. Because it is May, Mary’s month, it’s fitting that I share points with you.

We first meet Mary when she is about 14 and the angel Gabriel comes to her. Because she is engaged to Jospeh, I imagine she daydreamed about him often, maybe even when Garbriel visited. God turned her world upside down by impregnating her. Mary’s life takes a shocking turn, something other mothers might experience.

Mary as a Pregnant Woman

As any pregnant woman, Mary is thrilled to be carrying new life. But she is also apprehensive. What will the baby be like? Do I have the wisdom, skills, and patience to be a good mom? Can I bring this baby to full term? Will it survive infancy? As an unwed mother, Mary wonders what Joseph will say, her parents, the neighbors. Besides, in Mary’s culture unwed mothers were stoned to death.

Mary experiences the physical aspects of pregnancy. Her body changes, she’s tired, goes to the bathroom more often, has morning sickness, she waddles. She prepares baby clothes. Maybe her mom St. Anne and her mother-in-law give her advice. Mary travels to help elderly Elizabeth who is pregnant. No doubt the two talk about the inconveniences of being pregnant, their hopes and dreams for their sons. They support each other.

Mary as a Wife

After Mary and Joseph are wed, Mary learns how to live with a man, a partner. She has to share her life, listen to Joseph’s advice, accept his help. She no longer lives just for herself but must take him into account. She might think, What food does he like?  Is my hummus too spicy for him? How can I make him happy? Is he sore from working in the carpenter shop? I’ll give him a backrub.

Mary as Mother

When Rome calls for a census, Mary must travel to Bethlehem. That means a five-day, 90-mile hike. She must wonder, “How can this be? I’m nine months pregnant. I might give birth on the side of the road. Is this really God’s plan?” No doubt today’s moms wonder things like, how could I have this car accident now? Why are gas prices rising so I must sacrifice health care?  Why is the government making my life more difficult?

Then in a stable, Mary goes into labor and has her baby, a real baby. She must nurse him, burp him, change his diapers, clean up his baby spit. She also knows the joy of having him cuddle against her and watching him sleep.

King Herod is intent on killing Jesus. So Mary knows what it’s like to have a baby in danger. She would do anything to protect him. She would die for him. So she becomes a refugee in Egypt to save his life.

Mary as Keeper of the Household

Safe back at home, Mary knows a mother’s pride in watching her boy grow. She helps him crawl and walk, teaches him to talk and how to eat. Like most mothers, her life is consumed with daily tasks: cooking, sewing, shopping, cleaning, doing laundry, getting water from the well every day. She has no maid. She maintains a relationship with her mom and a mother-in-law who may be critical of her.

Mother of a God-Man

When Jesus is 12, he goes missing in Jerusalem. Children do outrageous things. For three days, Mary and Joseph search for him. Imagine their nights, their panic, their dread. After they find Jesus in the temple, Mary scolds: “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety. ”  She probably shakes him and hugs him. Jesus’s response verges on being sassy. He says, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Sometimes you just don’t understand your children.

When Jesus is thirty, he is still at home (like some young adults today), and Mary is caring for him, supporting him in his carpentry business: consoling him when customers complain or the price of wood goes up.

We see the two of them at the wedding at Cana. Jesus is Mary’s only child. Looks like he’s not going to be married. That means she’ll have no grandchildren. Like most mothers, Mary is quick to notice a problem: wine is running out. Instinctively Mary acts to help. She knows her son could fix things. She takes charge and tells the waiters to do whatever Jesus tells them.

Mary as Widow

One day Joseph dies—we don’t know when or how. Maybe Mary has the shock of having him killed suddenly in a construction accident. Maybe Joseph is ill for a long time and Mary nurses him. In either case, Mary loses her life partner and goes through his funeral heartsick. She also lives through the deaths of her mother and father. Our Blessed Mother knows grief.

The day Jesus leaves to carry out his ministry, Mary had to be sad, like mothers are when their child leaves for kindergarten, college, or marriage. Then rumors come back to Nazareth that her son is crazy and possessed by the devil. Certainly she worries about him like mothers you suffer when their child is bullied or misunderstood. Things get worse when he returns home and Mary’s neighbor and relatives don’t like what he says and try to throw him off a cliff. There is a mountain in Nazareth with a chapel called Our Lady of Fright. Presumably that is where Mary watched as people tried to kill her son. Then she had to deal with those people afterward. She would meet the women at the well. That had to be awkward.

Later when Jesus is preaching and people tell him his mother and brother want to see him. He says, “Rather my mother and brother are those who hear the world of God and keep it.” Now that looks like a slight that hurts Mary. She might think, “All I did for you and that’s how you treat me?” However, Mary more than anyone heard the word of God and kept it. Sometimes moms are hurt by their children.

Childless

One station of the cross is Jesus meets his mother. She stands with him during his painful suffering. Although all but one apostle desert him, she is there on Calvary watching her child die, her only child. She once kissed that head that is crowned with thorns. She heard his first word, mama, and now hears his last. She watched him draw his first breath, and now she sees his last. This is the cruelest pain a mother can suffer, to see a child die.

From the cross, Jesus gave her John as a son. This apostle represented all of us.  At Pentecost Mary is with the apostles praying with them. She forgave those who deserted her son. She is their mother now too. Living with John, she had to adjust to a new situation: a different home, country, lifestyle. Change is hard. No one likes it but a baby with a wet diaper.

Right now Mary is Queen of Heaven, but she remembers what it was like to be a mom. She’s been there. She eager to help moms carry out their difficult but all-important vocation. They can look to her as a model.  Besides asking WWJD mom can say WWMD?

When St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta faced a difficulty, she prayed, “Mary, Mother of Jesus, please be a mother to me now.”  She advised, “When distressed, call on Our Lady. Say this simple prayer. I admit this prayer has never failed me.”

A Favorite Marian Christmas Song

Here is a version of “Mary, Did You Know?” that I think you will like:

What about Mary had you not thought of before?

What feature of Mary’s life do you think was the most difficult for her besides Jesus’s death?